A Ceremony Fit for Us

Nick and I met with Aunt Vicki two months before the big day. She’s a former District Judge, and we couldn’t envision anyone else officiating our ceremony. She was the very first member of Nick’s family that I had the pleasure of meeting. Unfortunately, she no longer holds the credentials to “pronounce us husband and wife,” and so we called upon another Judge, who also has a loose connection to our family, to oversee the formalities.

We designed a ceremony that addressed what is most important to us in a successful marriage. It’s a union of ourselves and our families. It’s a promise to passionately and considerately love one another. It’s about sacrifice and compromise. And it’s finding comfort and completion in one another.

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Welcome
Vicki recited a beautiful welcome that spoke to our pasts and our futures.

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The Giving in Marriage
Vicki asked, “Who supports Emily Jean in her marriage to Nicholas James?”

Dad, Mom, Brother, Sister answered “We do” in unison. Dad hugged me, hugged Nick, and took his seat next to Mom.

(I felt strongly that I wanted all members of my family to verbalize their support. It created a wonderful, consuming ambiance when they answered from all directions.)

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Marriage is a Union
Vicki said, “There are no ties on Earth so sweet, none so tender as those you are about to assume. There are no vows so solemn as those you are about to make. There is no institution of Earth so sacred as that of the union you will form, for the true home is not only the place in which you will live, but it is also the dwelling place where each lives in the heart and mind of the other.”

“Marriage is a union of the heart, body, and mind.”

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Reading
Friend Carried read “Union” by Robert Fulghum.
{Full Reading}

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The Little Things are the Big Things
Vicki said, “To be complete, marriage must be a spiritual as well as an Earthly estate. The state of matrimony is true marriage when it is based upon a deep, inner communion of two souls who find completion in each other.”

“Today, your separate lives, each with individual memories, desires, hopes, merge into one life.”

“Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created; in the art of marriage the little things are the big things.”

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Reading
Uncle Jeff read “The Art of Marriage” by Wilferd A. Petersen.
{Full Poem}

(And before he read it, he whispered to us, “I love rainy days.”)

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Hands
Vicki asked us to join hands (even though we knew we’d already be holding hands).

And then she said, “These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love one another all the days of your lives.”

“These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as your share your innermost secrets and dreams.”

“These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.”

“These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime.”

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I Do
At this point, Vicki turned over the podium to officiant #2, Rick.

Rick asked, “Emily Jean, do you willfully and joyfully enter into marriage to Nicholas James?”

Emily replied: “I do.”

Rick asked, “Nicholas James, do you willfully and joyfully enter into marriage to Emily Jean?”

Nick replied, “I do.”

Rick said, “At this time Emily and Nick would like to make some personal promises to each other.”

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Vows
(Nick started, and we read the verses back and forth.)

I adore you.
You are my best friend.
And today I give myself to you in marriage.

I love you.
You are my everything.
And today I give myself to you in marriage.

I promise to love you and laugh with you,
In all of life’s circumstances,
As we face them together.

I promise to support you,
To share our dreams and celebrate our successes,
As we build our future together.

Through joys and sorrows,
Good times and bad,
In sickness and in health.
**In sunshine and in rain. (Nick added this as he looked up at the rain falling from the sky, and it was one of my favorite moments of the day.)

For better, for worse.
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health.
**In sunshine and in rain. (Of course I had to make the same promise!)

To love and cherish you,
For all the days of our lives.
I do.

To love and cherish you,
For all the days of our lives.
I do.

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Exchanging of Rings
Rick asked the Ring Bearer to come forward, and the Best Man untied the rings from the pillow.

Nick said, “As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I give you this ring as a sign of my promises to you. With all that I am, and all that I have, with this ring I thee wed.” And he slipped the ring onto my finger!

Emily said, “As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I give you this ring as a sign of my promises to you. With all that I am, and all that I have, with this ring I thee wed.” And I slipped the ring onto his finger!

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Pronouncement
Rick said, “Now that Emily and Nick have given themselves to each other by solemn vows and promises, with the joining of hands, and the giving and receiving of rings … I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

“May you always find happiness and contentment with one another, and never forget how you feel at this moment.”

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Music
Rather than immediately going into “the kiss,” we chose to take a few moments and listen to the beautiful lyrics of “We are Man and Wife,” written by Michelle Featherstone and performed by Susan Savia. We held each other and watched her play and just breathed it all in.

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The Kiss
After the first verse and chorus of “We are Man and Wife,” Susan faded out and Rick said, “You may now kiss the bride!”

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Next: Ceremony Photos